Whew. It’s about time.

Mariners: $117M payroll = 24-45 record
Oakland A’s: $47M payroll = 38-31 record

Now maybe we can start playing some Moneyball.

The 2008 Seattle Mariners TV commercials are available at MLB.com and are discussed here and here.

My favorite is “Fullness and Sheen.”

A postscript to Afternoon at Safeco Field.

You need to understand that concessions at major league ballparks have evolved over the 30 or so years that I’ve been attending games. When I was a youth, Tiger Stadium offered its fans a choice of mustard or no mustard on their hot dog, and that was about it. Your soft beverage choice was Pepsi, and your beer was Budweiser. I remember they later introduced the hot pretzel … with “hot” being an outright lie, and “pretzel” referring to a twisted brown inner tube loaded with enough kosher salt to choke a rabbi.

Now, it’s almost embarrassing to stroll around under the stands and see Thai restaurants and sushi stands (Ichi-roll, anyone?). I don’t think I saw an actual hot dog or bag of Cracker Jacks in the place.

Caving in to this cornucopia of concessions, I steered Ray to one of the Ivar’s Seafood stands for a salmon sandwich and some French fries (not the famous Safeco garlic fries — those things can kill you).

The guy in line ahead of us ordered “fried scallops,” but was informed by the cashier that they didn’t have scallops. She helpfully offered clams or shrimp instead.

“No scallops?” the guy indignantly retorted. “What kind of Ivar’s is this?”

I felt like tapping him on the shoulder…

“This, sir, is an Ivar’s at a fucking baseball stadium! They serve thousands people within a three-hour period and, thus, probably felt the need to streamline their menu a bit. They also don’t have table service, porcelain dishes, silverware, a wine list, or a dessert menu. You should feel lucky they have clams and shrimp, you fucking whiner!”

But, you know, Ray was with me, so I held myself back.

Today was Day 4 of Daddy Weekend Care and a trip to Safeco Field to see the Detroit Tigers. Oh, and the Seattle Mariners.

The other day, Amy helpfully suggested that I might want to steer Ray’s baseball fandom toward his actual hometown team. After all, she pointed out, I’m a Tiger fan merely because of where I grew up; Ray should be a fan of the team that plays where he grows up.

Setting her blaspheming advice aside for a moment, I’ll relate a bit about our experience at the old (well, newish) ballpark today (and note that the Central Division-leading Tigers battered the Mariners 11-7).

First of all, Ray looked cheek-squeezlingly cute in his oversized Tiger cap.

(Click to enlarge)

We had some really good seats, courtesy of the Mariners Ticket Exchange, where season ticket holders put their seats up for sale if they can’t make the game.

And Ray was able to follow his favorite player, Magglio Ordoñez (who clocked a two-run homer in the eighth inning), way out in right field.

Ray also scored a warm-up ball courtesy of tomorrow’s starting pitcher, Nate Robertson, and Andrew Miller’sautograph.

Back to Amy’s comment: I did try to keep things even-handed during the game, and led Ray in cheering for both Mariners and Tigers where appropriate. It was not my fault that the Tigers generated more cheer-inducing activity than the Mariners (Granderson’s three-hit performance, Sheffield’s steal of home, Thames’ three-run blast). I extolled the virtues of Ichiro (who really is awesome), and tried to find good things to say about Raul Ibañez (he hit over .300 a few years ago!), and Adrian Beltre (he almost has a .500 slugging percentage!). But I drew the line at whiny-ass Jeff Weaver on the mound. I just can’t stand that guy.

I recently helped a friend and fellow blogger deal with a lingering Google cache issue. The search behemoth still listed a page from her blog that she thought she had deleted, but had merely “delinked.” Even if she removed the page now, I warned, the cached version would still be available unless she contacted Google and asked them to remove it (Note: Google’s page for webmasters describes how you can do this).

This reminded me of a similar incident I dealt with a couple years ago.

When I played baseball for the Madtown M’s, the manager used to follow up each game by writing an amusing recap on the team’s web site (a graphic-less archive of which can be found here). The recaps were all written in an over-the-top sportswritery style complete with tortured nicknames for the players, egregious verbing, and wild exaggerations of our on-the-field accomplishments.

After one of our games, a number of team members announced that they were heading to a nearby Hooter’s restaurant for some post-game festivities. The manager derided them in his next recap by writing a fictional account of how they were arrested for disorderly conduct after mashing on one of the waitresses.

Two years later, one of the team members implicated in this fictional scandal contacted me in a panic. He had been applying for jobs at law firms and one of his potential employers found the humorous piece during a routine background check (read: Google search). Taken out of context, it was difficult to determine that the piece was satirical on its face. He was able to convince them that it was a joke, but he worried (understandably) that other employers might not be so forgiving.

I promptly removed the offending section from the page and contacted Google to remove it from the cache. I’m happy to report that it was gone within a couple days.

There’s little joy in Detroit these days. The Pistons seized up in the NBA finals, the Red Wings flew out of the Stanley Cup Finals, and Forbes magazine recently listed My Fair Birthplace dead last in the country in terms of metropolitan housing markets (Seattle, I will note, was first).

But Justin Verlander pitched a no-hitter at Comerica Park last night and the Tigers entered into a tie for first place in the AL Central.

There is some hope left in Motown after all.

I remember watching the last no-hitter thrown by a Tiger — Jack Morris’ gem back in 1984. That was the first and only no-hitter I’ve ever seen personally. I’ve always wanted to see a perfect game — the mere thought of which causes me to choke up as I try to imagine what it must be like for someone to accomplish the absolute pinnacle of achievement in one’s profession.

Think about it: there are very few jobs in which “perfection” is a definable metric. Even in sports, there’s, what, baseball and bowling where the concept “perfect” makes any sense. There have only been fifteen perfect games in the modern era of baseball, which makes it a much rarer feat than a perfect game in bowling, in which a 300 game has become somewhat commonplace.

You must, therefore, understand how excited I was when I first heard about the movie For the Love of the Game. Kevin Costner (not my favorite actor) plays a Detroit Tiger who throws a perfect game. While he’s on the mound, the story flashes back to cover his entire career and personal life. Man! A movie about a perfect game pitched by a (fictional) Detroit Tiger! And directed by Sam “Army of Darkness” Raimi!! What could be more awesome?!?!

I dragged a protesting friend to see this movie when it hit theaters back in 1999. To his credit, he didn’t say much during the show. Afterwards, he observed “Well, that’s two hours of my life I’m never getting back.”

I had to reluctantly agree. The film was godawful. Avoid it at all costs. Just thinking about it now makes my brain hurt.

But, Go Tigers!

Alyssa Milano has never been very high on my celebrity crush list, but when I learned that she has a blog devoted to her love of baseball, I have to admit that she moved up a few notches.

I can even forgive her inexplicable love of the Dodgers for this statement:

You may think the Cardinals won The World Series while I think the Tigers lost The World Series.

Blue Jays 4; Tigers 3 (Sad)

Mariners 4; A’s 0 (Happy!)

Kenny Rogers: blood clot in shoulder, out for three months (Sad)

Felix Hernandez: 12 strikeouts, complete game shutout (Happy!)

The Tigers won the first of a four-game set against their closet AL Central rivals, the Minnesota Twins, last night. To say they needed to win the game is an understatement. The Twins have surged in the second half as the White Sox have started curling up. They have emerged as the Tigers’ biggest threat.

I wish I could say that the Tigers restored some of my confidence last night. After going 9-19 over the last month, it certainly was nice to see them on top again, and the 7-2 score makes it look as if they achieved the win in a masterful fashion. But as I look at the box score, I see some significant warning signs.

Continue reading "Can the Tigers Do It?" »

The Tigers were one strike away from dropping a double header to the Yankees today. A couple of walks and a Craig Monroe homer in the ninth put them up 5-3 in the second game; a three-up-three-out relief performance by Todd Jones and his enormous mustache earned him his 35th save.

What is it about relief pitchers and mustaches? The most famous baseball mustache belongs to relief artist Rollie Fingers. The great Tiger reliever of the 1970’s, John Hiller, wore a big handlebar. 1984’s Cy Young and MVP award-winner, Willie Hernandez, sported facial hair on his upper lip. As did Goose Gossage for most of his career. Dan Quisenberry. Bruce Sutter. Dennis Eckersley. What could it be?

A side note on preparing this post: When I was a little kid (6 or 7) and collected baseball cards, I used to sort them according to various criteria. One common distinction I made was between players older and younger than my dad. According to the Tiger’s web site, only three of the men on the Tigers’ 40-man roster are older then me. By the time he’s old enough to collect baseball cards, Ray probably won’t be able to divide them up the way I used to.

As of tonight, the Detroit Tigers (76-36) have 50 games left to play in the regular season.

If the Tigers only win half of their upcoming games, and the White Sox and Twins each win two-thirds of theirs, the Tigers will still end up one game ahead of the AL Central with a 101-61 record.

If the Tigers win only one-third of their remaining games, and the Sox and Twins each go 25-25, the Tigers end up on top again by one game with a 93-69 record.

If they stay on the same second-half pace (17-7, or .708) they will tie the regular season win record of 116 games (Cubs in 1906; Mariners in 2001).

They need to win 29 of the last 50 (or .580) to set a team record of 105 wins (breaking 1984’s 104-win record).

And now back to doing something useful….

I was “watching” yesterday’s Tigers game against the Twins via MLB’s online game stats service (the modern version of the sports ticker). Pitcher Jeremy Bronderman was almost perfect through 7 innings and the Tigers were rolling to a 4-0 win and a series sweep in the Metrodome. I clicked the window closed as the game entered the bottom of the eighth (Ray had woken up from his nap). Later on, I summoned the result to my cell phone via SMS and was stunned when my tiny screen read “Minnesota: 6; Detroit 4.” What the hell had happened?!?!

Continue reading "The Meltdown Inning" »

In Moneyball, Oakland A’s General Manager Billy Beane reported that he doesn’t like recruiting high school pitchers. In a chat session with readers of Baseball Prospectus, he explains:

We also try and minimize economic and health risk by drafting college pitchers. We also feel that because they are older and more experienced, college pitchers have a tendency to give you better early results when they enter the Major Leagues.

Understanding that, compare Mariner’s rookie phenom Felix Hernandez’s stats with those of the Detroit Tigers’ rookie phenom Justin Verlander.

Continue reading "A Tale of Two Rookie Phenoms" »

I asked someone recently if she liked baseball. She said she’d been to a game once but found it really boring. Her friends assured her, however, that it was an exception and that games are usually more exciting.

I told her they were wrong.

Continue reading "Saturday Night at Safeco" »

Today begins a three-day weekend series between my beloved Detroit Tigers and my new hometown team the Seattle Mariners. Ah, the conflict of loyalties….

And I’ve got my ticket for Saturday’s game!

We went to a Tigers-Mariners game a couple years ago, and I found myself falling right back in to root for the Tigers. This year, I’m ramping it up a bit and will actually don my Tigers’ cap. I think I’ll avoid the face paint and stuffed tiger tail this time.

Unfortunately, Amy and Ray won’t be joining me. Ray’s asleep by 7:00, which rules out evening games. Even with a babysitter, it’s difficult for us to get to anything before 7:30 or 8:00. Sunday’s game is at 1:00, which just happens to be during his naptime (when he takes a nap, that is).

This will be my first game of the year, and I’m looking forward to a nice, traditional evening of baseball with a cup of organic microbrew beer in one hand and fresh sushi in the other!

Go Tigers!

The Detroit Tigers continue to kick some Major League ass, but my mother reports that Detroiters are tentative with their excitement. It’s not like it was back in 1984 when the town roared with Tiger fever and the “Bless You Boys” slogan was plastered everywhere you looked. I’ll admit to also being cautiously optimistic from my remote Tiger Den here in Seattle (where the Mariners are suddenly winning baseball games, too! What’s up with that?!)

Detroiters have seen so many promised “renaissances,” “urban renewals,” and “empowerment zones” evaporate over the last two decades that I can’t blame them for not getting their hopes up about having a championship baseball team in their midst.

Living in Detroit is what I imagine it’s like to live with an abusive spouse. At first, you’re attracted to their raw grittiness and “bad boy” (or girl) attitude. There are hints of their true nature but you’re too caught up in the emotion to notice. Then they put the smack down on you and reality starts to set in. But they seem to feel really bad about it, and they apologize, and it’s really just that they love you so much they can’t help it, and they promise to get help, and they swear to you that they’ll never hit you again. Until the next time.

It’s nice to see that the Tigers are making good progress, but the bruises still hurt and we’re not trusting them just yet.

Now maybe if you show me a (World Series) ring on that finger, I’ll believe you!

Another landmark from my youth will soon be gone. Venerable Tiger Stadium, the 90-year-old playing field at the corner of Michigan and Trumbell, is on the demolition block, according to the Detroit Free Press:

Tiger Stadium will be demolished to make way for homes and stores under a plan that will save parts of the historic baseball venue, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick said Friday.

A portion of the field as well as a small piece of the stadium itself will remain.

During the summer of 1987, I worked at Tiger Stadium as a “Junior Usher.”

Continue reading "Farewall Tiger Stadium" »

The Tigers still have the best record in baseball, but lately things have been looking pretty shaky. Following their 15-1 stint starting in mid-May, they dropped nine of the next twelve games.

In reviewing the season so far, the Tigers could be said to have benefited from a schedule befitting their previous four terrible seasons. Their string of victories and strongest performances have come largely against demonstrably weaker teams: Kansas City, Cleveland, Minnesota, Seattle. They started to get into trouble against New York, Boston, and Chicago — teams with worse records, but teams who had tougher schedules thus far and who have several recent championships scattered amongst them.

The Tigers struggled against Tampa Bay last night (Tampa Bay!) getting two runs in the bottom of the ninth to tie before winning in the 13th. The Tigers cannot afford to lose against a last place team, nor to tire out their top-ranked pitching staff by dragging such games into extra innings. A sweep of Tampa Bay is required.

Following this series, then, is a long journey into interleague play against National League underperformers such as the Cubs, Astros, Brewers, and Pirates. Only St. Louis presents a major challenge and should be a tough series. The Tigers’ closest competitors, the White Sox, have a similar schedule in the coming weeks and can be expected to perform about as well as the Tigers do.

The Tigers’ true mettle will be determined by how they do in the crucial next month before the All Star Break. In my opinion, they have to play .750 ball against these upcoming weaker teams. They need to maintain, and perhaps extend, the distance between themselves and the White Sox. The final series of the first half for the Tigers is against the weaker Mariners whereas the White Sox face the stronger Red Sox. Even if the two teams perform equally for the next few weeks, that series should give the Tigers an opportunity to pull 4-5 games ahead of the White Sox before the break.

If they don’t do that, I have low hopes for them in the second half.

I tend to cry about the oddest things. Sick puppies dying in a little girl’s arms? Nothing. The HAL 9000 computer asking Dr. Chandra “Will I dream?” before being left for certain destruction at the end of (the otherwise disappointing) 2010 ? Bawling like a baby.

One event that always gets me blubbering is the final pitch and celebration at the end of a perfect game — all 27 batters retired in succession — in baseball.

Continue reading "Perfection" »

Ladies and gentlemen: the Detroit Tigers have the best record in the major leagues.

I’ve waited a long time to say that.

The Tigers were in town last weekend for a three-game set, and proceeded to sweep up the pathetic Mariners.

Right before I moved to Seattle in 2004, my former employer gave me a sweet going-away present: a package of tickets to 16 Mariners games. One of those games was against the Tigers, and I was curious about where my loyalties would lie. I grew up with the Tigers but it had been over a decade since I lived in Detroit and the team had not exactly been giving anyone cause to remain a die-hard long-distance fan. The Mariners were now my adopted home team, though they, too, hadn’t been tearing up the American League standings.

After the first inning, I fell right back to rooting for the Tigers. Even today, I find myself checking the Tigers’ box score before the Mariners’, and I feel more of a sense of loss if they are defeated than if Seattle goes down.

I mentioned this phenomenon to some colleagues the other day. One of them said he had heard that childhood sports team loyalties are the hardest to shake. A child may shed his parents’ politics or religious beliefs, but rarely do kids ever lose the team loyalty they shared with their folks.

Go Tigers!

Updated 4/11/2006: Seems I’m not only one with this problem.

First, we were snubbed (then mollified) by the Mariners’ Moose, and now this. Short version: I decided not to subscribe to MLB’s “GameDay Audio” program this year. GameDay allows you to listen to all games via the Internet, which I never actually ended up doing much. My subscription, however, was “automatically renewed” for my “convenience,” and all my efforts to contact them via email or telephone have been futile (bounced replies and busy signals). My full complaint letter follows the “Continue Reading…” link.

I’m getting the sense that Major League Baseball doesn’t care about its fans.

I also sent a version of this tale to The Consumerist, a web site dedicated to consumer complaints that I urge you all to check out. We’ll see if they believe it merits a mention.

Continue reading "Updated: MLB Just Doesn’t Care" »

My Fair Birthplace of Detroit now has the best teams in basketball, hockey, and baseball. OK, so it’s only 6 games into the baseball season and the Tigers are actually tied for the #1 tier in the sport, but given that they haven’t had a winning season since 1985, a Tiger fan needs to praise them whenever he gets the chance.

In reading the recap of their first two series at the creatively-named The Detroit Tigers Weblog, I noted the author’s following observation of yesterday’s game:

Kenny Rogers was hit around, and balls seemed to be just out of reach of Tiger defenders instead of being tailor-made double plays that we’d seen in the first 5 games. The defense also committed their first charged error when Carlos Guillen couldn’t cleanly pick a grounder in the hole. Ramon Santiago, filling in for Placido Polanco also appeared to neglect to cover second base for a force out.

First of all, it isn’t that Kenny Rogers. It sounds like Kenny suffered some pretty bad luck on the mound yesterday. Having recently read about baseball statistician Voros McCracken’s controversial idea about pitching and defense, however, I now know that the element of “luck” in baseball can be statistically measured and predicted.

Continue reading "Baseball and Luck" »

People often claim that were born in the wrong decade. Maybe they yearn to live like a flapper from the 1920’s, or regret not being a part of the swinging Jazz age. Perhaps they yearn for what they believe was a simpler, more slow-paced time. Me? I’m happy with where I am on the temporal plane for the most part. I try to neither romanticize the past nor assume the future will be rosier. My goal is to make due with what I have, and to make it better when I can. About the only time I start to wish I had been born, say, 30, 40, or 50 years earlier is when baseball season begins.

Continue reading "Baseball Nostalgia" »