Lost in Seattle

My standard news sources are abuzz and consumed with schadenfreude over the news that yet another Christian Republican — this time, Florida state representative Bob Allen — was caught with his pants down … er, rather, caught trying to get down the pants (for $20) of an undercover male cop. It didn’t take long for the blogosphere to dig up several hilariously hypocritical tidbits about Allen’s legislative record, including his authorship of a “Lewd Or Lascivious Exhibition Act” and his 90% voting alignment with the Christian Coalition.

It’s almost cliché to say that those who are the most vociferously homophobic are the ones most deeply closeted, but it’s guys like Allen who keep the cliché alive and help underscore its truth. It seems pretty obvious to me that a fair percentage of individuals who feel so compelled to battle “immorality” that they get elected to public office and attempt to legislate away “problems” such as homosexuality are doing so to counter the shame they feel about their own true natures. In that way, a story like this is sad — a man who is obviously confused about his sexual orientation is so fearful of being exposed by a generally homophobic society that he marries, has a child, and affiliates with a rabidly anti-gay organization (the GOP) as a cover. One can only assume how unhappy he has been all his life, and how devastated those he has lied to must feel.

It also stands to reason that this same MO is present for those who most loudly proclaim their religious faith and who denounce, slander, and demean unbelievers. The strongest voices that praise Jesus and call people like me sinners probably belong to those whose hearts are so tormented with doubt they dare not pause to reflect lest they realize their entire belief system is bogus. The Christian obsession with “joy” and Christ’s “love” is, to me, an obvious mask for how deeply unhappy the average Christian must truly feel.

But unlike closeted homosexuals, closeted atheists are not going to somehow be caught in the act of revealing their true nature. There is no tradition of atheists secretly meeting up at highway rest stops for anonymous philosophizing. There are no atheist prostitutes who charge $20 to reassure you that it’s OK to not believe in god. It’s unlikely that an elected official will be caught IM’ing about Richard Dawkins with his eighteen-year-old page. They can only step out of the atheist closet voluntarily after finding the courage and strength to confront the truth.