A postscript to Afternoon at Safeco Field.
You need to understand that concessions at major league ballparks have evolved over the 30 or so years that I’ve been attending games. When I was a youth, Tiger Stadium offered its fans a choice of mustard or no mustard on their hot dog, and that was about it. Your soft beverage choice was Pepsi, and your beer was Budweiser. I remember they later introduced the hot pretzel … with “hot” being an outright lie, and “pretzel” referring to a twisted brown inner tube loaded with enough kosher salt to choke a rabbi.
Now, it’s almost embarrassing to stroll around under the stands and see Thai restaurants and sushi stands (Ichi-roll, anyone?). I don’t think I saw an actual hot dog or bag of Cracker Jacks in the place.
Caving in to this cornucopia of concessions, I steered Ray to one of the Ivar’s Seafood stands for a salmon sandwich and some French fries (not the famous Safeco garlic fries — those things can kill you).
The guy in line ahead of us ordered “fried scallops,” but was informed by the cashier that they didn’t have scallops. She helpfully offered clams or shrimp instead.
“No scallops?” the guy indignantly retorted. “What kind of Ivar’s is this?”
I felt like tapping him on the shoulder…
“This, sir, is an Ivar’s at a fucking baseball stadium! They serve thousands people within a three-hour period and, thus, probably felt the need to streamline their menu a bit. They also don’t have table service, porcelain dishes, silverware, a wine list, or a dessert menu. You should feel lucky they have clams and shrimp, you fucking whiner!”
But, you know, Ray was with me, so I held myself back.
Comments
Well put! And yet, "they" (whoever is in charge, that is) always have the crowd stand and sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame", which of course implores, "buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack!" Well, at least they do that in Oakland between innings, complete with lyrics emblazoned on the Jumbotron. How many young fans are scratching their heads wondering what those words mean?
Posted by: arrmac | July 16, 2007 3:09 PM
Right on! I was just thinking this to myself as I watched the kids going crazy up and down the bleachers at CoAmerica park. At Tiger Stadium, you got your hot dog and your watered-down soft drink and if you left your seat, it was to go to take a leak. And you never asked for the ice tea because it was obvious they used one tea bag for about twenty drinks. And yet, going to the ballpark was best experience you could have as a kid! Ugh, what happened?
Posted by: Robert | July 20, 2007 8:07 AM