In Montessori schools, kids rarely are pulled out of the program unless the family moves, and they attend from the age of three through middle school, so that pretty much means we’ll be dealing with the same sets of parents for the next eleven years. We’ve had a few group get-togethers with other families recently, and I’ve tried my best to make good first impressions and not set things off on the wrong foot with anyone.
During our last picnic, I had to take Ray to the bathroom. After he took care of his business, I took care of mine, and as I went to zip myself back up, the zipper pull on my pants fell off into my hand. The zipper was still down, mind you.
My mind raced with all the things I’d be expected to do throughout the rest of the picnic. Squatting, sitting, playing, bending over, holding a toddler … all activities designed to cause maximum gaping in the crotch area of my pants. Great.
Luckily I had on a longish shirt that mostly covered the affected region, but I was self-conscious for the rest of the event, and Ray couldn’t figure out why I wouldn’t lift him up over my head. Hopefully, no one noticed and I won’t have to spend the next eleven years known as the father who exposed himself to his son’s entire class.
