Lost in Seattle

Our house in Seattle is near the border of three neighborhoods: Ballard, Greenwood, and Crown Hill. Which one we’re technically “in” depends on which map you look at.

The business district is a mix of trendy condos and run-down buildings. Over the two years that we’ve lived here, I’ve taken note of several snigger-worthy shops and just plain weird buildings that I’ve decided to immortalize in digital photo glory.

[Click thumbnails for larger versions, which will open a new window. Via flickr]

“Our Northwest Hearts Go Out to All of You Forever”

At least, that’s what the sign atop this strange, untitled red, white, and blue building read before they recently took it down and stenciled “All Age’s Dance Club” on various parts of the facade. It seems to still be a functioning nightclub — I’ve seen roadies hauling equipment in at night — but a “Notice of Proposed Land Use” sign on the front wall indicates that it won’t be long for this world. Coming soon: mixed retail and condos, just like next door.

Dr. Chavez’s Family-Friendly Dental Office

Yes, that really is an incredibly creepy painting of the crucifixion atop a dentist’s office. The sign to its left is barely visible in this photo; it features the word “Brush” spelled out in toothpaste next to a package of floss advertising Dr. Chavez’s business. I am assuming the Passion portrait belongs to Dr. Chavez, too, and not to the “Diamond Driving School,” though I could be wrong. After all, which sins did Christ die for? Bad oral hygiene, or poor driving skills?

Love Zone

Our neighborhood upscale sex shop, which shares a parking lot with the liquor store. Getting booze and porn has never been more convenient! I don’t mind that this purveyor of filth and perversion is in my neighborhood; I just wish they had a better selection on DVD.





It’s a Bowel Tyme

I’m not sure what I love most about this sign: the gastrointestinal pun, the extraneous apostrophe, the misspelled “tyme”, the woman in a toga holding a magical, hypnotizing hourglass…. I wonder what “more” services they offer in addition to the colonics.




Evangelical Chinese Church

Those damn Chinese. It’s not enough that there are 1.5 billion of them already. They won’t rest until they convert everyone to Chinese! Of course, they could mean Evangelical Christian, but that’s not what the sign says.





Transformation Surprise Laundromat

I must say, I do like it when the clothes I take to the laundromat are “transformed” in that they started out dirty and now they are clean. But I don’t want any surprises about it!