Lost in Seattle

I have never been one to blame others for my shortcomings. I was raised in a good Catholic household in which I was taught: if something goes wrong, it’s your fault. (I love you, Mom. Kiss-kiss!) When I was on the Madtown M’s and once struck out in six straight plate appearances, I never once blamed the bat. When I was 10 and I failed to pick up an easy spare during the youth bowling league championship game thus causing my team to lose by 3 pins, I never blamed the ball. Nope. It was always me. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Now, the idea that my bike has been the chief culprit in my inability to manage the 1.2-mile 1.75% uphill climb at the end of my commute had crossed my mind, but true to form I turned such suspicions back onto myself — my weak muscles, inefficient lungs, and general sorry-ass laziness. The other day, however, my friend Mary ventured down to my dank office in the unfashionable quarter of campus and spied my GT Slipstream resting innocently against a file cabinet. Mary is an avid cyclist and praised me for biking to work.

I admitted my trouble with the homeward commute, and admitted that I would likely bike in every day if not for that. She walked over to my bike, grabbed it with both hands, and hefted it up. “My God!” she grunted. “This is a heavy bike.”

After evaluating my ride, Mary concluded that it is quite probably responsible for my troubles. She suggested that a lighter frame, thinner tires, a lower gear cartridge, and clip-on pedals — in short, a new bike — would improve my experience immensely.

As coincidence would have it, this month’s issue of Consumer Reports rates road, fitness, and comfort bicycles. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I know nothing about bikes, and I have obviously suffered for it. I thought there were only two classifications: road and mountain. It turns out mine is a “comfort style,” which CR describes as perfect for casual riding on flat surfaces. Comfort bikes generally weight 10-15 pounds more than a road or fitness bike and they lack the higher gears that make uphill climbs easier. Oh-ho! Yet more evidence that my bike is to blame.

Now, Mary had advised my getting a “road bike,” which according to CR meant shelling out somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,200-$1,600 on the low end. But the “fitness bike” classification intrigued me. The weights were only a couple pounds heavier than road bikes, and CR described that genre as “perfect for commuting.” The top-rated fitness bike — the Giant FCR3 — lists for $650 and is available at BikeSport in Ballard for only $500.

As further luck would have it, BikeSport is located right at the bottom of the hill in question (just a few blocks further west). I should be able to test ride some bikes on the actual mountain itself.

I’ll report back after the testing phase is complete.