Lost in Seattle

I got a disappointing haircut last weekend. It’s not going into the Annals of Bad Haircuts or anything, but it’s just … well, disappointing. The edges aren’t clean, it’s not entirely proportional, the sideburns were really messed up (I fixed those). From a distance, it doesn’t look too terrible, but up close you can just tell that no pride went into this cut job.

One of the hardest things about adjusting to life in a new city is locating new local versions of all the services you grew accustomed to in your previous locale, and hairstyling is one of the hardest to find. It takes time, money, and you can only check a new place once every month or so.

I am partially to blame for this one as I went, once again, to Rudy’s, which is this alterna-salon/barbershop with several locations in Seattle. The interior is cave-like with industrial gray cement-block walls papered with pop-culture detritus and “ironic” magazine clippings. The stylists keep their gear in red toolboxes and are generally covered with tattoos and pieces of metal stuck into parts of their bodies. They play good, loud music and attract a surprisingly diverse clientele. I feel tragically unhip whenever I go there, but I know I won’t be compelled to talk about typical barbershop topics such as sports. Oh, and they only charge $17.

The quality of the cuts is heavily dependent on the barber, and I don’t think I have ever had the same one twice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the same barber twice. What does that level of turnover say? Amy got a really good cut there once, and when I called a few weeks later to make an appointment with her stylist, I was told he didn’t work there anymore. In general, I’m satisfied only about half the time, and I’ve never received what I consider a great cut. After this one, I decided that I really need to start investigating further and explore some other places.

This isn’t the first time I’ve endured bad haircuts for a long time. In Madison, I floundered for over two years until I found Nicole at this hole-in-the-wall Aveda “concept” salon. She didn’t charge exorbitant fees, she was friendly and funny, and she cut my hair pretty much how I wanted it. Overall, I’d give her a “B” — I was satisfied about 80%-85% of the time.

I spent my first year or so in Iowa City jumping from one barber shop to another and eventually became a regular at the Iowa Hair Cutting Company — a sort of local SuperCuts. I was often terribly disappointed, but I couldn’t really afford anything nicer and they were conveniently located on campus.

One day, I won a gift certificate to an upscale salon where I met Kristen. She gave me the best damn haircut I’d ever had, and she was nice and cute and funny. I walked away feeling elated, like I was walking an inch or so above the ground. I actually got unsolicited compliments on my hair. It was great.

A month later, I called to make another appointment … but I was told Kristen had moved on. The receptionist was reluctant to tell me, but I was finally able to learn that she had just moved across town to the salon inside the Younker’s department store. It seemed a strange place for someone like Kristen to work, but I checked it out and got an appointment with her and we enjoyed a happy, monogamous hairstyling relationship for the next few years. Kristen was one of the last people I went to see before I left Iowa City; I just needed one final cut to feel prepared for the new phase in my life.

Kristen’s work has become my standard for all future cuts, none of which have lived up to her magic. A couple years after I moved to Madison, I visited some friends back in Iowa City and made a point to schedule my trip around my hair-growth so I could go back to Kristen. We actually hung out that night and watched some movie about faeries at her apartment.

Oh, and I got a great haircut.